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Aug 10, 2010
no surprise

that it's cold and wet outside again. the past few days have been delightfully bright and sunny - i guess it wasn't meant to last long. i don't know if it's worrying that i almost always expect to look out my window and see everyone and everything smothered under a layer of seasonal gloom and depression, though i must say it creates an ideal setting for long-term slumber and hibernation, which i assume you all know i am the best at. this is me, now, taking a break from reading my subject reader capable of destroying the world with its sheer mass and size, i kid you not. be warned.

matchbox twenty on the speakers now. mmm, old borderline mainstream music. my ears accept this very well.

change. in need of change. i've changed my desktop background, arranged the icons differently and dragged my taskbar to the left end of my screen. swapped my phone background, ringtone and alarm. unfortunately the size of my room does not permit me to move anything around. a sudden urge to chop my hair off hit me yesterday but i think that's slowly ebbing away now. change. i need to get a new bag because mine is falling apart (literally). what else can i change besides the material?

no i will not give up my coffee for tea.

ciao miao.

Posted at 12:36 pm by Atsuzen
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Aug 3, 2010

it's raining right now or there's a pan of boiling water outside my window. highly unlikely it's the latter but it sure does sound like that. my feet are under the double blanket, cold as always. paolo nutini is singing, telling jenny not to be hasty. hunger attack. now.

the strokes were unbelievable. possible embarassment followed excessive jumping, screaming and tuneless singing but hey, i saw the strokes live. i can now gladly cross that off my list of things to do with my life.

now i need to see muse.

Posted at 12:34 am by Atsuzen
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Jul 28, 2010
you can tell

that i've lost almost all my interest in blogging - i'm saying almost because here i am typing this out. i guess i owe everyone at least, for being so graciously loyal to my blog, a post on my recent trip to sydney. i admit to regretting buying tickets to sydney the morning i was to leave - the thought of leaving the familiarity of my house and friends was uncomforting. from the moment i stepped out the door until i boarded the plane i was regretful and paranoid - if you know me well you'd know i can be unnecessarily paranoid - because this would be my first time flying alone. it's amazing how much i've been babied at the airport for twenty years. right now i can't imagine not having spent those two weeks in sydney; i had so much fun i amazed myself, and i've already booked my tickets to fly back there after my exams in november. i guess unfamiliarity is always the beginning of something exciting.

anyway - sydney. an incredible city, a much different landscape to that of melbourne. bigger, taller, louder, and busier, but it's a sort of urban chaos that i like. i have to say that in terms of cultural identity sydney confuses me. i've been told sydney is a harbour city - and yes this is true, i've been there and the water is blue and beautiful and there are pretty buildings all along the harbour. this feels very much sydney, but i think there's also too much of a trying-to-be new york/ london feel around the actual city centre. maybe it's just me - i don't know. bias as this may sound melbourne has great culture, which i love. though the weather can be shit at times the coffee is fantastic, art is abundant and you never feel like you have to walk faster on the streets. i guess i love both cities? ; )

i stayed with my uncle's family and without a doubt i wouldn't have enjoyed this trip this much if not for them. i haven't seen them for years but their company was so warm and welcoming it's like they've always lived next to me. family love : )

i worked for a few days at my uncle's cafe in the city. like the trip itself it was again unfamiliar and daunting at first before becoming the greatest experience i've had in a long time. i'm nowhere near being a great waitress but it was fun learning what it takes to run a cafe and i'm thankful for the (very hilarious) staff who helped and taught me everything i know now. everyone makes mistakes so i'll share the most outstanding blunders i made on the job, some proving to be incredibly funny:

1. i screwed up orders for a table of 6, taking down only one order of wonton soup instead of three because i didn't hear them. one week later during a night shift my uncle introduces me to the hostess working for the night - and i recognise her because she was at that table. coincidence much? i blurted out to her, "hi, nice to meet you. i remember you were from that table i messed up the orders with - i am SO, SO sorry," followed by a sheepish laugh on my part. of all people :/

2. i was carrying two plates of fillet steak, one with each hand. the steak piece is balanced on a bed of asparagus which in turn is balanced on grilled mash at the bottom. so i place the first plate down with resounding success. as i put the second plate down i watch in horror as the steak wobbles and topples over like humpty dumpty falling to his death. it was probably a second's worth of shock to the guy i was serving but it felt like a really long time to me, thankfully it had only fallen within the plate so i was saved from eternal embarrasment. the guy laughed it off, maybe he was laughing more at me panicking and apologising profusely than anything but at least ...he laughed.

3. i confused a white wine for a red. the old man was not impressed. i need to study my wines D:

the rest of the mistakes were nothing much to boast about but mistakes nonetheless. i'd be happy to share but i can't remember exactly what i did except for the three above. i don't think i broke or spilt anything. but i tripped on an apron. i can't wait to go back!

that ends my little spiel about busy sydney (ha, it rhymes). the first few days back in melbourne felt slow and lazy in comparison - back to the familiar. a good familiar. a cold, wet and gloomy sort of familiar.

i will be headbanging to the strokes in two days. i very excite.

Posted at 10:11 pm by Atsuzen
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Jun 14, 2010
so it's really cold

and i'm finding every excuse not to pick up that stack of notes and start reading. it's 2.45am now and i still can't decide if i want to stay up and watch germany vs australia at 4am. ah, the decisions you have to make in life are not easy.

i have two things to look forward to this winter: sydney and the strokes! althought i'm starting to regret not deciding to go back to malaysia this july (tsk decisions decisions) because all you american and english blokes are coming home and chances are i won't see you in december, again! :(

on another note: i can't believe people still come back to check on my blog! i love you guys :) i almost left this fish for dead. i blame you. no, i kid. pun intended. it's amazing how i think that i have a sense of humour.

i will keep up the trend of professing my love for musicians so here goes: much love to paolo nutini, the 22-year old scottish-irish whose voice (and lips, oh man) is so gorgeous justin bieber should just give up and stop whining ...i mean singing. no, seriously. the most annoying creature to ever spawn from the world of mainstream music. i would rather spend my day watching the machine gun kitty on youtube on replay than endure four minutes of bieber.

time to go back to making the decision of the night: should i have a boiled egg now?

Posted at 12:33 am by Atsuzen
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Apr 7, 2010
day trip

to mount dandenong today! stuffed ourselves silly with scones, belgian waffles and award-winning (seriously) pies. ample photos taken and a maze attempted, it was a great day that ended with more singing along to songs and two angus burgers.

holidays are goooood.

and oh yes the highlight of my winter break;

The Strokes Tickets

i'm soooooo pumped! ;)

Posted at 09:27 pm by Atsuzen
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Mar 18, 2010
i've had

john mayer's battle studies and jamie cullum's the pursuit on loop for a whole day now, i wish i could let everyone listen to them every time i walk to uni so we can all sing along togetherrrrr tell me how can music be this good? music must be a drug; you know how they say stuff like morphine and ketamine (HAA, HOUSE LAWL) get you high, they definitely forgot to mention that a song can get you hiiiiiigh toooooooooo, fo sho george, i kid you not. this is better than that (incredibly delicious may i add) pre-made garlic bread from safeway and the fantastic thing is after you listen to it you can listen to it again because it's not like eating a garlic bread where thereafter you have to buy another one because you've eaten the one you just ate and it's gone!

but i digress.

we had a class trip to the general cemetery today and you wouldn't think that's a place for architecture but it is, and it's such beautiful symbolism and poetry omaigawsh i could and would take you there if you so wish to and tell you everything i learned! i'm studying the foundations/ history of architecture this semester and it's so yummy mmmmm my brain is excited from all the content (nerd-alert) and i'll be writing an essay about the debate on the loss of architectural 'beauty' after the roman era homg orgasm much? mmm garlic bread.

for those of you who haven't heard physics lecturers like making fun of chemistry! no idea why!

i should go to beddddddd mataku kering dikenakan angin daripada kipas mejaku oh kekeringan melebih-lebih, what flabberdash i speak

i love you all

Posted at 08:58 pm by Atsuzen
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Feb 21, 2010
as usual

i am watching friends until i feel it's time to sleep. in two days i'll be doing the same, except in a different country.

how can three months pass by so quickly. HOW!

i'm excited to go back, but i don't want to leave. nuuu.

Posted at 10:06 pm by Atsuzen
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Feb 4, 2010
i don't know

if having such big dreams is healthy for me; lately i've been having fantasies of pursuing editorial photography and working in new york city. so i'm not sure if i'm in desperate need of a reality check since i can't wait to start working and i'm getting all excited over nothing when i'm only just about to start my second year at university, because i'm also not sure if i've lost focus considering the fact i'm going to major in architecture and i haven't exactly had that amazing dream of making it as a top architect since technically that's what i should have been dreaming about, right? i think it's the effect of too much television, too much america and pop culture. i need to go back to school. that, or stop watching teevee. but i still want to go to new york and feed off that city's energy.

i find so much pleasure in writing. well not that sort of pleasure of course but you know how every person has their own outlet to express their emotions and personality and all that - i think that this is mine. it's one of those things you do where you feel like you don't have to prove yourself to everyone because it's just that thing you do. and you enjoy it too much to care.

onerepublic did an amazing job with their new album. ryan tedder is my hero.

EDIT: now i want to own my own cafe, and write a book. holy crap.

Posted at 10:31 pm by Atsuzen
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was such a waste of time. script was horrible but at least the aliens looked decent.

why do monsters/aliens always attack new york city?

Posted at 10:24 pm by Atsuzen
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Jan 26, 2010

Dexter wasn’t sure if accepting the offer was his only way out of this mess; he had suspicions that there was a catch to it, some fine print somewhere on the paper he might have overlooked in the panic. The man in the grey suit sat still, impassive like a breathing statue, waiting for the contract to be signed – he didn’t expect to be declined. The other man keeping watch outside by the door twitched in impatience; boss said twenty minutes tops or we’re off the job. Eighteen minutes had passed since they caught hold of the young chef. A bead of sweat trickled down his face, dripping onto his polished black shoes. I must not disappoint the boss.

The next minute passed in silence. Dexter soon realised that putting his signature down was not a choice if he were to walk out of the room unscathed – he wasn’t dealing with ordinary tradesmen. His hand quivered as he set his pen to the paper to sign his name, Dexter Jonathan Brooks, unease creeping up his arm like he was selling his life to an unknown authority; the man behind the big black leather seat whose face you never saw. The man then slipped the paper into his briefcase and clipped it shut with a resounding clink that echoed in the room like the final note of a concerto in a grand hall. He made for the door and held it open before uttering monotonously, “Thank you, Mr. Brooks. It has been a pleasure to meet you in person. After you.” Dexter stood up and walked out slowly, tentatively, expecting the man to suddenly pounce on him and throw him into a potato sack and ship him to Guatemala for questioning. But nothing happened.

Thirty minutes later Dexter was at home in his kitchen eating chicken pie, and his mother in the living room asleep in front of the television. It was as though his life was never going to change.

Posted at 01:22 am by Atsuzen
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